An antidote

October 28, 2010

Been finding solace this week in memories. I think it has something to do with November.
Something about the air turning colder, the nights drawing in. I think you waste a lot of time when you’re younger obsessing over the fact that everyone else is having a jolly good time. Like you mustn’t miss out. And then as a working adult you look around you and ask the opposite question can’t we all just cheer up and have a good time? Everyone else is miserable, I should be too. Dammit the whole game involves chasing your tail whilst others chase theirs. We also live in a time where we OBSESS over the individual. So much so that everyone ends up being the same. The pursuit of individuality is a complete waste of time. We even sit at our laptops spewing quasi intellectual bs to try and convince each other that we really are of value.

And for your souls…


What else?

Been getting into Nikita. Absolutely no idea why.


Ever feel like a target market

I am extremely excited about the prospect of the event below. For those of you who have never visited the fine city of Exeter it’s a fabulous gig. One of my first ever proper gigs as a musician (playing it) was supporting this very loud three-piece from Teignmouth  called Muse. I hear they went onto great things. Although I shan’t mention Matt’s checkered trousers he clearly bought from a stall in Totnes, around the same time as me. Ah the early noughties.
Yes I’ve been doing this a frikkin long time and yes, no need to remind me who’s ahead of the game. They’re lovely boys though. I don’t name drop. Apart from just then, cause lets face it everyone in Devon has at some point been in a room with either Muse or Chris Martin. Anyway here’s the promo…

What else?
–3/53614      yeah- I’m bored of you too.



 So perhaps this November will be full of things that I can look back on and be happy about.

Bonfire night without you

Practice what you preach

Mind games

I’ll go if you go

Strangers in a big city

You know, the usual self obsessed doom and gloom.

Remember remember the 5th of November.
It’s etched on my brain.


Heart tapes

October 14, 2010

Sometimes, when I’m at a loss for words. I just type.
This is one of those nights

Heart tapes


People will come and go
From your life
Like a badly paced play
From the wings
Please exit stage left
The love of your life

In my attic
There is a box
For heart tapes

Yes your name is on one
Of course it is
What did you expect
A blank canvas?
No, it’s there
In big black marker pen
The default soul mate

I lack the ability to cry
I fend off cobwebs
I drop every other plate
I will make the grade
If it kills me


I am currently away from my desk
I will be back on the 25/12/2010
Incubator light
Swaying over head
Casting my shadow
My ambitious shadow

I don’t keep the tapes here
The place is too dusty

Exactly how far is too far?
If we go all the way will it matter?
I mean
It’s only skin
And breathing
Lost looks
And paradise

In my attic
There is a box
For heart tapes

It takes time to fully feel the after effects
Some dizziness

If you call back in the morning I’m sure she’ll be there
Phone in hand
Head tilted to one side
Lip gloss
Narrowed eyes
Speaking in tongues

Some people struggle to love themselves
Others have trouble stopping
I cannot for the life of me remember
How I ended up here

One hour
Before my Grandad died
He told my Dad
His Son
There was nothing left unfinished
He left this world
As he lived it

If I turn out to be half the man he was
I will be near-perfect

In my attic
In my rib cage
There is a heart
Try to align with it

When you’ve put her to bed.

Suzanne Vega on vinyl was my 1980’s.

Was it that she looked a little like Carrie Fisher?
my other true one love aged 7
Not sure

She’s deadly important from a female point of view.
Sharp words, beautiful tone. Substance over style.
Did not use her looks to make you listen.
She just made you listen

I listened.
She made me want to write songs.
Sure, years later, Billy Corgan would make me want to turn my guitar up reeeeeeeeeeeeally loud.
Suzanne though, is a song writers song writer.

Hotter than an intergalactic space princess from planet Alderaan?
hmmmm.. nearly.

More talented than a decade of let me show you my breasts and move like this and see if you’ll buy my record misogynistic bullshit.


See? I wasn’t lying about the StarWars thing. Apologies to my cousin Chris though, who is wearing red and white striped socks with his Spiderman slippers.